it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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