Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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