I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Randomize
