I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
