the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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