His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
