The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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