Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
