That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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