I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
