DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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