its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
