I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
