Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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