I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i think my cat just said my name.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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