How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
