I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
