it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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