just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
