I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
