I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
