How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Randomize
