Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
