Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
