i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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