Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
