it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
