her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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