Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just threw up on my dentist
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
