If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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