Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
