cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
