Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
