How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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