she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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