The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Alive.
So much puke
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
