Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you had me at cake vodka
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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