i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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