it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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