some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize