He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
