Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
