Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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