he puts the penis in happiness.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize