and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
