I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize