I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
