Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
