fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
