I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
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