Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
