About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
