ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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