In the future we'll all be gay
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
