Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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