I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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