I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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