Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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