party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
