why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
