im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
