So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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