i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
