Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
