hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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