did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize