you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
