Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
