do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
